According to most parenting professionals, and I am basing this post primarily from a Love and Logic course I took- there are 3 types of Parents-
1. The Drill Sargent
2. The Counselor
3. The Helicopter
1. The Drill Sargent: Tends to command their children to do things, tell them when and where and expect complete compliance. Many children from these types of parents will tend to obey when they are young- out of fear- but as the teenage years roll around they fight back and the parents lose all control (they thought they had). Many parents in this category use physical action to force their child’s compliance- yelling, spanking, yanking, slapping, ect.
2. The Counselor: Tends to give their children choices and offer suggestions and let the child make many mistakes to learn how to do something on their own. They give control to their children when they misbehave allowing them to choose their consequences often or letting them choose between two choices mom/dad gives them. They often council with their children about family matters and are good at “sticking to their guns,” realizing that this offers a view of parental stability for the children. Children and parents from this group tend to share the control and often benefit greatly.
3. The Helicopter: this mom/dad is constantly buzzing around making sure everything and everyone is ok and that all details are taken care of. You hear this parent saying, “Did you do your homework? What are you doing? Let me do it for you. I’m sorry! (When they didn’t do anything to the child). This parent is also the kind to “fix” their child’s problems- they will bring homework to school that the child left (showing the child that their parent will watch out for them, so why should they be responsible), they will make sure the child takes the right kind of coat instead of letting them choose, they will always make sure they child has activities to do even if they don’t ask, ect. These families often have children that act out negatively as they are trying to gain the control they feel they lack in thier lives (the parent is usually unknowingly taking it from them).
I don’t want any answers, just comments about what you feel or other parenting styles you have read about to enrich all our homes and families! I feel like sometimes you need a little of all 3 types at different times, but that the Counselor does in fact have a better chance at a less stressed parenting adventure. I try to be like that as much as I can, but it doesn’t always work out, mostly because I am just plain worn out and the drill Sargent inside climbs out and makes my life miserable- and the kids!